At Stargazer's Point

Phantasialand Innovates While Movie Park Germany Stagnates

Hollywood has fallen—not just in the sense that the golden age of cinema is long gone, but in the world of theme parks, where "movie studio" lands have repeatedly proven to be uninspired, lazy, and doomed to mediocrity. Take Movie Park Germany for instance. It is lifeless soundstage façade after another with a backdrop of concrete wasteland. The park is rushed out, poorly planned, and doomed to die. And it fucking deserves it too.

Meanwhile, parks like Phantasialand prove that succes doesn’t come from slapping a "Hollywood" sign on a building or forcing IPs into everything —it comes from crafting entire, original worlds. Oh, really? Guys with character and ambition win hearts? Big if true!

So let me pirate (Hollywood in shambles) your time and let’s pit Hollywood-themed parks like Movie Park Germany (bad) against deeply immersive, original theme parks like Phantasialand (good). I visited both during the Holidays and I will rant and ramble about them now.

Theming & Atmosphere: Phantasialand

For the past two decades, Phantasialand has perfected a distinct formula: design world-class roller coasters, then build immersive themed lands around them.

And all this while Phantasialand has no space to build. Literally, none. The park is boxed in on all sides by roads, towns, that one parasitic snackbar (Snack & Bar), and environmental restrictions.

Those towering walls around the coasters? They’re not just really fucking cool—they’re carefully engineered sound barriers, making sure that Frau Schmidt in her half-timbered house 100 yards away doesn’t get rattled awake every time Taron fires up its launch. That’s also why Wakobato, the ‘splash battle’ boat ride in Wuze Town, is equipped with mysssteriousss "water blasters" that don’t do shit, leaving the ride as a weirdly silent, passive float where you awkwardly drift past Frau Schmidt, catching an unintended glimpse of her undressing through her slanted roof window.

So instead of expanding outward, Phantasialand has been forced to build up, dig down, and weave rides together in honestly mind-blowing ways. That’s why Taron flies just inches away from rock formations (also head-choppers are cool and it’s why Black Mamba has a height limit of 1.95m), why F.L.Y. corkscrews through its own themed nazi hotel, and why Chiapas in the Mexico area manages to pack an insane number of drops into one compact layout. Also the 53° drop—the steepest of its kind worldwide— was probably a must if they wanted to build the damn thing. But it’s so cool tho. It’s like they build the whole land in a giant hole (and they did!) considering you must go downstairs to get there. Limitations forced Phantasialand to innovate.

Chiapas, by the way, is a log flume with the steepest drop in the world and of all time and space, as the park LOVES reminding everyone (did I mention that yet?). A much better marketing target would be declaring that it has a disco dark ride section.

Hidden Clause in Mexico
Hidden Weihnachtsmann in Mexico

But this approach wasn’t always the park’s signature style. The transformation of Phantasialand from a regional amusement park into one of the world's most immersive theme parks can largely be credited to one man—Eric Daman. He brought kinetic energy to theme parks like no one ever did before (do @ me).

This Blog is About Eric Daman Now

Daman, a Belgian theme park designer, became Phantasialand’s lead creative mind in 1996 with the introduction of a Vekoma mine train coaster now only known as Colorado Adventure. It was actually named Colorado Adventure – The Michael Jackson Thrill Ride, opened by none other than Michael Jackson himself. Wow! Amazing!!! I wonder why it’s not called that anymore. Also, I hate this ride so much. Why? Imagine you’re riding Big Thunder Mountain at Disney, but the coaster is actively trying to kill you; that’s why. Also, the coaster has barely any theming and the theming that is there consists of cut-out teepees and wigwams and other stereotypical Native Americans references.

A man visits a psychiatrist and says,
"Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First, I'm a teepee; then, I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor replies, "It's very simple. You're two tents."

Now, for a short thoosie rant about this ride (feel free to skip this): Colorado Adventure feels uncomfortable due to abrupt track transitions and insane banking, causing excessive lateral forces that jolt you into a fucking coma. These stupid mine train-style cars prioritize theme over ergonomics (which would be fine if anything else was themed as well), and the lap bars don’t do shit (which would be good for airtime if this ride had any), leading you to slide around and hurt your dangly bits during sharp turns. Also, it’s a Vekoma coaster from the 90s, they were kinda shit back then. Still not as bad as their SLC’s tho.

Planet Coaster rating for Colorado Adventure: A paradoxically high excitement (8/10) because it looks fun, but an equally high nausea rating (9/10) due to its rough transitions, excessive lateral forces, and jarring movements. Guests won’t ride it, so no queue even if the ride were free. Absolutely tanking its popularity, despite the ride’s visually appealing layout.

(I haven’t tested this in-game, so feel free to correct me, not that getting decent ratings has anything to do with what makes a fun coaster irl, Frontier will never fix it).

(Update: I have tested it and PC2 gives it a low excitement (3.69); low fear (3.36) and low nausea (0.94). Nuve vuvu yeahaw per mi cuutu.)

Daman had bigger ideas for Phantasialand. Rather than treating theming as an afterthought, he wanted to make rides part of their surroundings, not just inside them. Over the next 25 years, he would spearhead the creation of Phantasialand’s most iconic attractions, including Black Mamba, Chiapas, Taron, F.L.Y., and their accompanying themed lands that changed the way the park designed its expansions.

Black Mamba and the Start of Ride Integration (2006)

The first true example of Phantasialand’s new design philosophy was Black Mamba, a B&M inverted coaster that opened in 2006 within the Deep in Africa section of the park. Unlike previous rides, where coasters were simply placed in themed areas, Black Mamba’s layout was engineered to work within its environment. The ride ducks into deep ravines, weaves under bridges, features a helix with the smallest radius ever built on a B&M roller coaster and even has two-thirds of its track below ground level. The hollow rails were filled with sand to dampen the noise created by passing trains (mostly for the benefit of Frau Schmidt of course and maybeeee for Hotel Matamba which is right next to it).

This was the first step toward Phantasialand’s modern formula—make the environment feel as if it existed first, and then weave the coaster through it seamlessly.

Klugheim – A Medieval Village Built Around Taron (2016)

If Black Mamba was the prototype, and the expansion of Mexico with Chiapas in 2014 the test run, Klugheim was the full realization of the concept. Opened in 2016, this medieval land was built entirely around Taron, a multi-launch Intamin coaster that, at the time, was the fastest and longest of its kind (Pantheon is now the speediest and VelociCoaster the longestest).

Daman and his team designed Klugheim as if Taron had always been there. The ride snakes between wooden Viking-inspired buildings, hugs basalt rock formations, and speeds over REAL LAVA (you’ll only notice at night, really, go check it out, it’s absolutely lava and not just a bunch of red lights). Phantasialand found their big black rocks just 45 minutes away in the Mendiger quarry in the Eifel, where they had these centuries-old volcanic rock just laying around.

Even Raik (Vekoma), the family-friendly boomerang coaster, was positioned carefully within the land rather than feeling like an afterthought (the ride experience is p lame tho, but fun for kiddos I suppose). Rookburgh on the other hand has nothing for kiddoughs so maybe they should add something small there too, like a twin drop tower, those seem all the rage now).

And here’s an interesting side note—when Klugheim opened, Phantasialand handed out lore pamphlets explaining the village’s history and mythology. Today, you’ll have no clue what Klugheim is about. I don’t like this one bit. Where is all the lore? Why is the only tangible characteristic in Klugheim these burned goblin bodies that hang in suspended prisons in the Taron queue? That’s fucking cool. DO SOMETHING WITH IT. DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR THEME.

Which is all the more puzzling as Daman was known for walking through Phantasialand, taking photos of tiny imperfections, and sending sketches to management for improvements. He believed that if something didn’t feel right, it needed to be fixed—no matter how small the detail.

AI art (Daman would never RIP)
AI art in Berlin (Daman would never RIP)

Here’s a temporary fix for this though: why not have your very cool amazing cute sugoi dragon mascots walk around in their respective lands always? Phantasialand made all these lovely dragon fursuits but they are never around?????

Here are all their names, descriptions and locations for your reference (this will not come up again):

Drago [Gold and regal] (Berlin) Drago

Phenie [unicorn lady dragon] (Fantasy) Phenie

Kroka [fat crocodile] (Deep in Africa)

Kroka was not sighted and remains elusive

Quetzal [dragon-bird] (Mexico) Quetzal

Schneck [BDSM-dragon] (Mystery)

Schneck was not sighted; Google at your own risk.

Wang [loong neck] (China Town) Wang (I've got his shirt :3)
I've got Wang's shirt :3

Moyo [failed experiment] (Hotel Matamba) Moyo

Finally the unnamed dragon [big tongue] (Hotel Ling Bao). No-name cutie
No-name cutie >:3

Feel free to send me a plush of each and every one of these dragons. I love them all so much (except you, Moyo).

Rookburgh – The Best Yet (2020)

Rookburgh (day)

Announced in 2017 and opening in 2020, Rookburgh was Daman’s final and most ambitious project. A fully immersive steampunk city, this land didn’t just house F.L.Y., the world’s first and longest launched flying coaster (wow!), but also an integrated steampunk nazi hotel, Hotel Charles Lindbergh. Charles Lindbergh. Charles...Lindbergh was a nazi by the way, wtf Phantasialand.

Charles Lindbergh might be remembered for his achievements as an aviator, but his support for the nazis and his isolationist views during World War II make him a nazi. He also never issued a formal public renouncement of his past sympathies for the nazi regime, and his interviews echoed dangerous rhetoric that aligned with nazi ideals. So, he should be remembered as a nazi. And that’s why I keep calling him a nazi—because he never truly denounced it and, to me, actions (or lack thereof) speak louder than any attempts to change his story (by Phantasialand or otherwise). Watch Hayao Miyazaki's The Wind Rises for more on the whole "wow-this-person-did-some-great-things-in-his-life-but-he-supported-fascists-wtf-how-do-i-handle- this????"

The nazi hotel is inside Rookburgh itself, as Phantasialand did before with Hotel Ling Bao in China (a country) and Hotel Matamba in Africa (a continent). I’ve stayed in both as Charles Lindbergh seemed too nazi cramped to me. Guests who stay in the nazi hotel gain exclusive access to hidden walkways and private viewing areas and a fast pass for F.L.Y.

Also, you can’t get in the nazi hotel without staying there, as you need to scan your room key at the main entrance (believe me, I tried). So, by jolly, I will go back there one day.

Daman’s signature multi-level design philosophy is fully realized in Rookburgh—pathways wind under and over each other, F.L.Y. twists between buildings, and the entire cityscape is so tightly packed that it feels genuine. I love steampunk London as portrayed in Dishonored, The Order: 1886 and Blades in the Dark. So, I basically have a PhD in steampunk (still working on the mythpunk one).

More thoosie stuff here, better to skip it before you get affected.

The name F.L.Y. sucks, but it’s def one of the good Vekoma coasters (they make those now), it features a launch speed of 78 km/h and reaches a height of 40 meters.

You can’t bring anything with you on the coaster—not even your glasses (I need those) or cleaning wipes (guess I didn’t need those anyway). I still had those wipes in my pocket after I had to go back once to the lockers because of my glasses. You do use a cute wristband to open/close the lockers so it's all good. Oh, and don’t even think they won’t catch you. They got metal detectors.

When I got on the ride the first time, I didn’t know what the fuck was happening. I was looking around all confused when they told me (in German) to stick my legs in the restraints and not put my feet on them (it'll happen to you too).

After embarrassing yourself, you get rotated 90 degrees (weeee) into a prone position, y’know, like you’re flying (or planking). The ride has 2 corkscrews, LSM launches (rolling) and boosts, and lots of near-miss elements, all while you’re literally flying. And lemme tell ya: it’s really fucking cool, especially in the front row (WHAT THE FRONT YOU, FAKE FAN). Yeah, really. It’s just you then, flying past the nazi hotel, waving at Frau Schmidt, and not looking at someone’s dirty shoes the whole time (even without my glasses I could see how dirty they were). It has a track length of 1,236 meters and has a dark ride section, which isn't anything spectacular tbh. Everyone keeps saying there is a dark ride section, but I’m not sure when that even was, there were some tunnels and the station is fully enclosed but that’s basically it.

The Legacy of Eric Daman

Daman’s death in April 2022 at 58 years old was a massive loss to the theme park industry. His influence completely reshaped Phantasialand, turning it from a charming and quiet (for all the locals, I’m sure) but ordinary amusement park into one of the world's most immersive theme parks (with lots of loud noises which the locals hate, especially Frau Schmidt I’m sure).

It’s one of the best examples of kinetic energy in theme parks I’ve ever seen. And, ironically, despite designing some of Europe’s most famous thrill rides, Daman never rode his own major coasters. In a 2016 interview, he admitted he had never been on Taron, Black Mamba, or Talocan. His reasoning? He wasn’t a thrill-seeker. Instead, he focused on how coasters interacted with their environments, making sure that guests watching from the ground felt just as immersed as those riding. Hell yeah, kinetic energy ftw.

Sign
The Sign

As a sidenote, here’s more weird racist stuff I noticed.

At Ling Bao, there was a renovation board that featured a quote from César Ritz (the hotelier behind the Ritz hotels), which read:

"Ein Hotel ist wie eine schöne Frau. Mit jeder Saison verlangt es nach neuem Schmuck."
(A hotel is like a beautiful woman. With every season, it desires new jewelry.)

Now, let’s unpack this: "Schmuck" in German means "jewelry", but in Yiddish
(and later American slang), "schmuck" is an insult, meaning something like
"jerk" or "fool." While the intended meaning here is clearly about hotels
needing constant upgrades, like a woman wanting new accessories, it does read
a bit weirdly in modern times.

Which it is, Phantasialand. It is modern times. So, this could imply that women
desire "a new fool" every season, which is misogynistic af??? So thanks for this
attempt at poetic marketing that should’ve been retired along with Geister Rikscha.

Which, to add to the whole wtf Phantasialand, is a racist Haunted Mansion rip-off
(singing busts, copy of ballroom scene, literal hitchhiking ghosts, omnimover
ride system – Doombuggies!! etc).

After the comical hitchhiking ghosts pepper’s ghost effect we get…something.
Like, what’s up with this final scene of the ride of an ogre groping and humping
a lady? I can’t find any cultural significance in this. And it’s not like it’s
the climax of the ride’s story because it’s been disconnected scene of Chinese
figures being spooky after another.

God, can’t this park get one dark ride that’s good (I liked Hollywood Tour but
they closed it, and that ride wasn’t even racist, just a submechanophobia trap + the awesome Hitchcock animatronic).

Also when you exit the ride, you immediately walk into Colorado Adventure
with its racist Native-American cut-outs so it’s just a big fat mess.

Cancel him
The ogre in question (cancel him)

Mecha-Hitchcock's crypt
Mecha-Hitchcock's crypt

Here’s a fun little list of random observations and tips I jotted down during my time at Phantasialand for your reading enjoyment!

Zebra
Zebra

Cozy bed
Cozy Matamba bed (hard af tho)

Hotel Black Mamba
Black Mamba from my hotel room :D

Theming & Atmosphere: Movie Park Germany

And now, let’s talk about Movie Park Germany. It’s worse in every conceivable way, except prices (I had free entry with my Efteling annual pass). Aight, that's a wrap!

Entrance

Nah, but I’ll keep it short(er). Movie Park Germany doesn’t get kinetic energy. This park has nothing but space—literally, it sits in the middle of a flat, uninspiring field next to the village of Kirchhellen, yet somehow manages to feel claustrophobic and lifeless at the same time. It looks like a movie set where the budget ran out halfway through production—which, of course, is the theme, right?

"Oh no, it’s not lazy, it’s Hollywood! It’s a behind-the-scenes experience! That’s why everything looks cheap and half-finished! Haha, immersive storytelling!" Yeah, sure. This is Michael Eisner’s fault again, isn’t it?

The same penny-pinching theme park logic that gave us Walt Disney Studios Paris in 2002 ("Who needs theming? Just tell them it’s a studio!") seems to have been the philosophy behind Movie Park Germany as well.

The theming is bare-minimum effort generic studio facades, soulless streets, and signage. Take Federation Plaza, the big Star Trek: The Next Generation area. On paper, it sounds ambitious—a futuristic, sci-fi-inspired area where Trekkies can step into the Fully Automated Luxury Gay Space Communist Utopia of The Federation (I wish :c). In reality? It’s just an old German street with some metallic paint slapped on. You can still see the rotting sinew and gnawed bones of the original architecture.

I did some investigative journalism and Federation Plaza is simply a retheme of the Hollywood Film Musuem, which in turn was a theme of the Marienhof area.

Marienhof Bottrop
Marienhof (a long time ago, probably the 90s)

Image
Hollywood Film Museum (2006)

Fed Plaz
Federation Plaza (2024)

They also keep calling themselves "Movie Park Studios" instead of "Movie Park Germany." Which is absolutely a better name, but like, what are they running from? Is it because of their chaotic ownership history, bouncing from Warner Bros. to Six Flags to random European investment groups. Idk, probably. Yes, I know one of their rides is called Movie Park Studio (tours). But they say it during official park announcements as well, nerd.

A timeline:

So, what is this park? A tribute to Hollywood and Americanism (American propagenda)? A film studio (nope, never)? A half-baked Warner Bros studio reject (yes!)? It doesn’t even seem to know itself. Movie Park Germany has spent two decades playing musical chairs with owners, and the result is exactly what you’d expect: a theme park that has no clue what it’s supposed to be. Maybe try having character or a vision for once.

Awful to Mediocre Coasters at the Movie Park (thoosie stuff y’know the drill)

There is exactly 1 ok coaster in the park - Star Trek: Operation Enterprise (2017). This Mack coaster is pretty smooth, and well-themed (omg omg I walked onto the NCC-1701-D bridge from where canonically the toilets are!!). The triple-launch system is fun, the inversions give lots of hangtime, and for once, the theming actually tries. Sure, they won’t let you sit on the Enterprise bridge chairs or have you buy one of those cool Starfleet onesies they showcase in the queue, but at least they build the Bridge set and the ride is pretty good.

Bridge
Best thing in the whole park

Oh, and they have the Replicator Corner (Star Trek is post-scarcity and everyone got this big microwave in their quarters which can make like ANYTHING). In the Replicator Corner there are 2 vending machines which sell you overpriced coffee and M&Ms (capitalism strikes again).

Now for the rest of the lineup.

Let’s start with Iron Claw (2001). This is a Vekoma SLC.

And then we have Bandit (1999), the first woodie in Germany!!!! Oh boy. Bandit is the worst wooden coaster I have ever experienced and it's build by defunct Roller Coaster Corporation of America (who? exactly). It’s rough while still being boring (low excitement). There’s not a lot going on most of the time. You also exit through the ride’s merch store, they don’t sell Bandit merch.

There's also Movie Parks Studio Tour. It's fun! Not thrilling but that's okay. It's a Intamin multidimensional coaster and the track does some very fun stuff (no spoilerinos!!!). It did break down for a few hours when I was the park.

Alas, even the decent rides, like Area 51, suffer because they're closed half the time. I saw a on-ride video of Area 51 after I got home, it looked fun. Maybe try opening it during winter as well next time, see what happens.

The Curse of Hollywood-Themed Parks

For some reason, every Hollywood-themed park ever built has been an absolute disaster. Look at Walt Disney Studios Park in Paris. When it opened in 2002, it was a lifeless, ugly embarrassment with almost no rides. It took 20 years before Disney finally admitted, “Yeah, this park sucks, let’s fix it.” Mark my words, it's still gonna suck; Disney’s track record these last couple of years has been “why marmble if Home Depot has fake, people’ll pay”.

Even Disney’s Hollywood Studios in Florida had an identity crisis. It was supposed to be a real working movie studio, but that idea crashed and burned almost instantly. For years, the park was considered the weakest in Disney World (it still is for many). They did put in a Tower of Terror (good) and a full themed land like Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge (also good, should’ve been better), which helped. They’re gonna close MuppetVision this summer tho, so I wish upon all Disney execs to crash and burn before then (in Minecraft of course).

Conclusion: There Is No Competition

Not that there was one anyway, but I hope we all learned something today. Phantasialand gets that a park needs character and creativity. Movie Park Germany does IP’s and does it quick for cheap. Phantasialand is a work of art. It’s thrilling, immersive, efficient, and packed with detail. Movie Park Germany is not.

Unless you’re a die-hard Star Trek fan (where my Trekkies at uwu) or a desperate coaster credit hunter (where my thoosies at owo), there’s zero reason to choose Movie Park Germany over Phantasialand. Just like there’s zero reason to build a shitty park for cheap to expand your market as you’ll be selling it in no time and/or it’ll go defunct.

Which would be preferable because I want more Defunctland episodes.

Firework show